On the mend....

I've spent the last month learning a lot about medical issues and the power of God.  I had to have massive reconstructive surgery on my foot.  For weeks before the surgery I planned ways I could continue to work while in recovery.  I moved my computer into the bedroom and practiced how to place the pillows so I could elevate my foot and still work. 

I am slightly claustrophobic and therefore was nervous about the cast.  To occupy my mind and keep me concentrating on other things, I lined up a lot of work to do.  I felt confident going into the surgery that I was prepared and that this would actually make me stronger. 

Ahhh.....but I didn't consult God about what He wanted me to learn.  Isn't that always the way?  We try to plan and direct the show ourselves - when in reality God wants us to step aside and let Him show us a new path.

2 Cor. 12: 9-10

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Are you like me?  Do you want to plan everything about your writing career?  Do you want to do such a great job that you can offer it up to God by saying, "Look, I did this all by myself and now I've decided to give it to you." 

We think that by doing all the right things that somehow we are gaining God's approval.  When in actuality he wants this journey to be a "joint" effort.  He wants to be part of the process.  He doesn't want or need our success.  What he does want is a relationship and to be a part of the process.

There were complications after surgery.  After coming home I found I couldn't take the pain medicine and we spent another week trying to find something that would ease the enormous pain.  Just four days after I was home, Ron called to let me know he was losing his job.  I spent hours crying and days looking at a dormant computer and wondering if I would ever write again. 

Finally....I gave it up.  Finally, I hit bottom and realized that I can't do anything without God's help.  Finally, I admitted my writing was worthless without his input. 

In my despair and bottomless pit of pain - God showed up.  He touched me and within hours the tears were dry and the pain was bearable.  Please allow me to change one word in this verse...

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in YOUR weakness."

I can't promise that I've once and for all learned my lesson.  My nature is to plan and that's just part of what I do, but I hope that the next time I face a difficult situation I'll turn first to the Savior and ask, "What would you have me do this time?"

God loves you and has called you to write,

Debbie